Today, March 20th 2015, is the Vernal Equinox. The day and night are equal.
But from here on out, the day wins. Light wins. Love wins.
I have felt so afraid lately. Afraid of losing: love, freedom, the very way I know how to be alive. I probably got too comfortable because I forgot losing all that, painful as it is, is not always a bad thing. Those who walk our path next to us are friends, lovers, furry beasts, family, and they are also mountains, rivers, thunderstorms, (an occasional hurricane), car horns and city lights, sunsets from an adirondack chair, labyrinths, wild roads that stretch out forever into wide open places. They become our geography. They walk with us for a long time, or sometimes only shortly, a small few forever. But how joyful it is to just get to love them! That’s the thing we all forget at some point or another: we get to. This whole love thing isn’t a zero-sum game, it’s not something you can win or lose. It’s something you can give and give and give and always have more.
(If I forget this again, which I will, please remind me.)
Maybe it’s okay to mourn old life, but not cleave to it. I did that through a song, which I recorded by the fire the other night for the people walking my path with me. It’s a tribute to comfort found in the midst of discomfort, it’s a goodbye and a hello, it’s a quiet shout of thanks. It’s best listened to while sitting still.
Today, for the first time in a long time, I woke up unafraid. It feels more like a new year than any day in January.